December 12, 2018
Friday was a frustrating day. Lots of fighting at work.
Usually I leave it at the office. But by the time I reached home on Friday, I was still thinking about it. Caroline and I often go out to eat on Friday, and as we headed out, I made a commitment: "Something has been bothering me from work. I want you to know it's on my mind, but I won't bring it up again".
That was the last thing I said about it, which wasn't easy. My attention kept drifting back, even as I tried to be present, and focus on the food.
I think in the US we're supposed to "vent". We "get things off our chest", talk about our feelings, and "share", rather than "bottling it up".
However, I'm starting to think bottling it up is exactly what I should do. I'm a human being with emotions, not some kind of pressure vessel that "explodes" when the pressure gets too great.
The thing is, you can choose to waste your time being frustrated, or think of something else. It requires mental discipline to put distracting things aside, often more than I can muster.
But life is short.
I think Buddhism has some good lessons here, particularly around mindfulness, and avoiding attachment.